


i wanna see you dance again (because i'm still in love with you)

by wclfstcr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oh My God, angst??? i guess lol, how remus lupin (certified bisexual) cannot survive without sirius black (certified gay), james is a mother hen, lily evans is Not impressed, my gay boys, peter is lovely for emotional support, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 23:12:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wclfstcr/pseuds/wclfstcr
Summary: in which sirius & remus breakup over a dumb fucking fight & can't cope





	i wanna see you dance again (because i'm still in love with you)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from harvest moon by neil young

remus didn't think it would end like this. no, he really didn't. he would be lying if he said he didn't see him and sirius getting a flat after their seventh year at hogwarts, where a few years later, remus would propose to him and sirius would hopefully - no, _surely_ \- say yes because that's how much in love they are - _were_ \- in and maybe they would finish off with everything once they were old and broken but still _so fucking happy_ because they would have each other by their sides. 

 

but guess not.

 

it had been weeks (5 weeks to be exact, 38 days to be _very_ exact) since he heard sirius laughing at something he said or felt sirius in his arms at night, both protecting the other from their demons and nightmares, or had kissed sirius or held his hand or hugged him or made him laugh or feel excited or loved.

 

sirius was there on the full moon, of course, and remus had almost wept with relief because there was a sirius-shaped hole in heart that kept aching with every single second passing where he didn't have sirius next to him. 

 

"just talk to him, mate," said james, at breakfast one day. "he misses you just as much. just talk to him, yeah? 's'nothing you two can't fix." and then he proceeded to pile remus' plate up because he hadn't been eating properly since their breakup. 

 

and also because he fucking missed sirius and his warmth during breakfast, his uproarious laughs during lunch and mischievous smirks during dinner. really, he just wanted sirius back.

 

it felt like everything had changed and remus had no fucking clue how to deal with it - he's never felt that lost without someone, but then again, sirius was never _just someone_.

 

classes, where they normally would be sitting pressed together, or at least holding hands under their desks, or maybe even would place a light hand on the other's thigh, had changed to such a degree that even left their professors confused because now sirius and james sat together, remus with peter. though it wasn't odd to find them in such pairs, the fact that sirius and james would be seated as far from the other two definitely raised some eyebrows from mcgonagall.

 

days when one would pull the other in an empty classroom between classes for a quick snog, or when they would abandon james and peter at dinner to run up to the common room to catch their dorms finally empty to have some time alone with each other and maybe even sneak a few kisses in, or when they would still have unfinished business in a broom closet which they had to _evacuate, moony!_ because they would be running, lest get caught by filch, and sirius would stop and pull remus in a hidden corridor and they still wouldn't be able to finish what they started because they would be laughing too much inbetween their kisses, giggling and sweating from running too much, too fast - those days were over and remus couldn't stand it at all because he felt rotting away without the boy he had fallen in love with, so quick, so hard.

 

now, without the protective circle of sirius' arms around him, remus climbed into bed before the rest of the marauders, curtains shut tight, crying himself to sleep because he was hollow and cold and lonely and angry at himself for letting sirius slip away from him and angry at sirius for slipping away from him all because of a stupid fucking fight and fuck fuck _fuck_.

 

remus let out a tiny sob, forgetting he still hadn't casted his silencing charm around his bed and froze when he heard the doors of the dorm swing open, soft footsteps padding their way to their own bed and remus just wanted to _die_ because he knew it was sirius, maneuvering his way in the dark.

 

fumbling in the dark for his wand to cast his silencing charm, remus was desperately trying to ignore sirius' quiet shuffling. he inwardly cursed when his wand fell off his bed with a fairly audible clatter, no doubt catching sirius' attention because the soft disturbances outside remus' curtains had stopped.

 

and then remus let out another sob. _oh my god i want to fucking die._

 

remus squeezed his eyes shut, clamping a hand over his mouth, angrily willing his stupid fucking tears to just fucking stop.

 

"remus?" remus heard his curtains being pulled open. he willed himself to breathe _a little bit quieter, please, for the love of god_. "remus, are you... are you okay?"

 

and he sighed because he hadn't been this close to sirius in such a long time and he was dying, fingers itching to hold the boy he so loved. but, "im fine. leave me alone, sirius."

 

"re...," his heart ached. "just tell me."

 

"tell you _what_ , pads?" he asked, trying not to care how his hands shook as he wiped his tears irritably, bitterly.

 

a beat.

 

and a whisper: "tell me you really don't want me to leave you alone. and that you want me back. and that you miss me. _i_ miss you. remus, remus, please, i miss you. i can't stand it without you. please take me back, _please_ , i want you back. i can't - "

 

remus couldn't let him finish (how could he, really?) because he was scrambling up and pulling sirius into his arms and sirius was crying too and remus couldn't stop, " _yes yes yes yes._ "

 

and they were so close, both kneeling on remus' bed, bodies pressed, arms tight around the other and sirius was cupping remus' face, his lips brushing remus' own and remus was _on fire_ and sirius wouldn't stop whispering his _i miss you_ s and really, remus couldn't wait for another second and he smashed his lips against sirius' and god it felt so fucking good especially with how sirius kissed him back with the same heat and maybe remus was spontaneously combusting, but honestly he couldn't bring himself to care because he finally had sirius in his arms and his lips between his own and fuck, he had missed him _so much._

 

they kissed slowly, now, savouring each other's taste, remembering. sirius rested his forehead against remus', "missed you."

 

remus kissed him, lightly pushed his shoulder so his back hit the mattress and he crawled over sirius, lacing their fingers together, "missed you more."

 

"want to see you," sirius whispered, reaching into his pocket for his wand. "haven't seen you in too long. _lumos_." the light from his wand illuminated remus' features, making his scars glow silver. "fuck, i missed you. i'm so sorry, remus, i - "

 

"shh, later. we'll talk later. i missed you, too." remus kissed sirius' neck. "let me kiss you."

 

"hey," sirius nudged remus, bringing him up to meet his eyes. "i love you."

 

and remus kissed him, hard and hot and demanding and soft and sweet and lovingly, until sirius couldn't think straight and he felt dizzy, intoxicated, probably overstimulated, with remus on top of him, like a warm blanket, a welcoming pressure. "i love you, too."

 

* * *

 

 

james and peter made their way to their dormitories, peter patting the other boy's back consolingly for he had just been awfully humiliated by his fair maiden, lily evans, because apparently his attempts to woo her to bed were futile and that _honeslty, potter, i'd rather kiss the giant squid than go out with you_ , but james knows he'll crack through; he just needs time.

 

peter, bless him, offered words of encouragement for his next attempt at asking lily evans out on a date when they stumbled upon the sight of remus and sirius comfortably lying on remus' bed, enveloped in each other's arms, talking in hushed whispers and light kisses.

 

"fucking _finally_ you guys made up," james snapped out of his grieved state. "peter had started to stress eat."

 

and with that james and peter lunged themselves on top of the two bastards.

 

**Author's Note:**

> oh g,,osh hello exucse me What is This jsjjs
> 
> comments & kudos are appreciated <3


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